First night out post baby…done!

When Big said his work do would include an all expenses hotel stay and meal, I thought Christmas had come early. I love my girl but a night away wth some sleep is my idea of heaven.

We have left her overnight once since she was born to go to a spa, but I haven’t been on a proper night out so I was looking forward to having a bit of fun.

Little decided to come over all poorly that morning, so I was worried we’d not be able to go. After some Calpol, cuddles, milk and plenty of water she perked up and I felt much better about leaving her for a sleepover with Grandma, Grandad and Auntie S.

 

The night

We got to our hotel and found one of those fancy towel sculpture things on the bed.


All I could think was that it looked very phallic. Something which Big helped to demonstrate!


We were treated to drinks in the hotel then went off to a restaurant for a meal. The meal was at 9pm and I felt like a granny thinking that it was far too late to eat, because let’s face it I’m usually in bed by then!

I don’t do well with too much to drink and usually end up with hangovers from hell, so I was determined to be sensible.  Wine and cocktails were mixed, but I had lots of water too so managed to wake up hangover free. I can’t say the same for Big who is currently snoring next to me!

Feeling very tired, I left him in the hotel bar and disappeared off to bed before midnight like Cinderella.

It was a lovely night, being Becky and not Mum. I got to have adult conversation, though granted plenty of it was kid related, and we had fun as husband and wife.

It made me realise how important it is for us to get out together and get out of the baby bubble. I’ll definitely be making sure we plan more nights out next year, though not too many as we’re not in our 20’s any more! It also made me realise the importance of water – drink lots of it, it’s magic stuff!

Do you plan date nights? How often do you find yourself getting out child free? 

Little Big Love

Becky xx

As any new mum will know, lack of sleep is a killer. Ok, so when I was pregnant I knew that once Little arrived I wouldn’t get much sleep, but I didn’t know just how much sleep I’d lose! 

In the 9 months since Little was born, she must have slept through (and by that I mean 10-5 with a bit of moaning and wriggling in between) for a total of 10 days! This was back when she was about 6 months old and since then we’ve had constant wake ups and 1-2 night feeds to contend with. The last few weeks have felt like we’ve had a newborn again and I’ve really felt like I’ve been cracking up through lack of sleep! 

I’m due to go back to work in January and dreading it (though for more reasons than sleep but that’s another story) and I’ve been so worried about how I’ll function on such little sleep.

We’ve tried everything; white noise, night light/no night light, increased feeds, teething gel/powder/liquid, and every other thing people suggest to us. But our child just does not like to sleep! 

If one more person says to me “sleep when she sleeps” I might scream. I get it, and in the early days I did, but when a baby who doesn’t sleep at night refuses to nap in the day for more than 10 mins in my arms, when do I sleep? And if she does nap for longer and I manage to get her napping in the cot, which we’ve had a few times recently, then I really need to clean, cook, so washing and all those other things that adults do! 

But here’s the miracle. Last night she slept through! Ok, so technically she did wake for a feed at 12am but then she slept until 6.A.M!! No 3am trek in the dark to try and soothe her back to sleep, bumping in to the banister because I’m so tired. No return trip at 3.30am and 4am and then sleeping with her for a bit to try and settle her. No 5.30am wake up because I just give up trying to get her off to sleep again. Hallelujah! It’s a Christmas miracle.

It’s amazing what a bit of sleep does. She happily played in her cot for 30 mins after she woke and I got a shower and washed my hair. We came down, had a bottle and a play and then I cooked myself some breakfast, poached egg on toast, and we’ve been out for a walk. I actually feel so much better and like I can get things achieved today.



What did we do differently? Nothing much, although due to her cold we put a bowl of hot water in the room and a calpol plug in. She also had 6oz of milk instead of the usual 5oz. Yesterday she had two really long naps. Does sleep breed sleep? Does a scented room help her sleep? Who knows but I’ll be doing the same tonight. I know it might be a fluke but I’m praying that I get a nice interrupted snooze tonight too.

What helps your little one sleep? If you’re struggling though lack of sleep, what helps you get through the day? 

Little Big Love

Becky xx

When you’re an adult, Christmas starts to lose its appeal a bit. Well that is unless you have parents that still insist on checking if Santa has been, leaving out stockings and having a mass early morning present opening!
Our Christmas tradition continued right up until last year! A 30, 29 and 25 year old all up early, checking our stockings and following our parents down to see if “he’d been.” Seriously ridiculous but we loved it every year, well my brother not so much but that is because for the past few years he’s usually been majorly hungover! 

This year will be different because we get to start a new Christmas tradition. 

Plans

Ok, so Little may only be 9 months but it will still be a special day as it’s the first year we get to have a Christmas morning of just Little, Big and Me. We plan on waking up as a family of 3, opening up our presents and having something special for breakfast, although not sure what our Christmas morning brekkie will be yet. 

I’m not going to lie, I’m sad that I don’t get to spend the morning with my parents and siblings. To do the silly traditions that we’ve always done, but once we’ve opened up the presents here we’ll be off to start a new tradition at the grandparents too. We’ll take Little to open her presents at my parents house and have our dinner there. At 31 I still don’t feel grown up enough to cook the dinner! 

Presents

I didn’t, I mean Santa didn’t, want to spend too much on presents for Little this year as she won’t remember it and doesn’t really need anything. I thought about things we’d probably buy her in the future and toys that she’d grow in to. I went with some lovely wooden toys for her. 

All of this for £17.50 in the Sainsburys toy sale!

And then some lovely little extras, including some books, a puzzle and this beautiful little start to her Emma Bridgewater collection. 


But for me it was the little touches I wanted to invest in that we’d use for years to come to build our own traditions. 

I’ve ordered these tags to use to leave treats for Santa, can’t wait for them to arrive! 

I bought a beautiful personalised Santa sack to put her presents in. My brother has also bought her a similar one so we’ve got more room once the presents start getting bigger! 

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Night night folks x

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And I’ve ordered some lovely personalised decorations too. One from handcraftedlove and another from elviesworkshop. Can’t wait to get the tree up and get them hanging pride of place. 

What are your plans for Christmas? Do you have traditions that you’ve started since having your little one? 

Little Big Love

Becky xx

 

I posted a while ago about wanting to be more adventurous with weaning. I think with her being born early, I’ve been playing it safe!

I have given Little lots more finger foods since then, including some yummy aubergine pizzas!

During the days I have two modes:

Mode 1) Run around like an absolute mad woman getting jobs done in the fleeting moments when Little is entertaining herself or napping.

Mode 2) Sit on the sofa too knackered to do anything except scroll through Instagram and half watch crappy day time TV while cuddling Little and keeping her entertained!

I’m not going to lie, usually mode 2 wins out but recently I’ve been trying to get more in to mode 1! So, while Little entertained herself in the jumperoo, I cooked up some egg muffins for her dinner recently.

Egg Muffin Recipe

I used:

{ 7 eggs / 3 large spoons of cottage cheese / handful of chopped broccoli }

You can chuck in any veggies you like. I think I’ll use a bit of spinach if I make them again.

 

How to make them:

These are so easy to make as you just chuck everything in a bowl and mix them up. You then pour the mixture in silicone muffin trays (I used two trays of 6) and put in an oven at 180• for 15-20 minutes. Job done!

I told you they were easy!

 


I cut them in half and served with a few crisps and mango sticks and she loved them. There are plenty left for the fridge but they are so moorish I don’t know how long they’ll last!

 

Let me know what you would add in them and how yours turned out if you give them a go.

Little Big Love

Becky xx

After a fantastic response to Part One, Part Two of the birth story is here.

So here I was, 29 weeks pregnant and sitting in hospital knowing I was going to give birth any time. I can’t actually put in to words everything I was feeling as I still find it hard to piece it all together.

Once they’d removed the magnesium drip, which seriously made me feel like I was dying at one point, they told me to get some rest. The pains were still quite mild but I said to the midwife that as soon as I relaxed I knew everything would start up again. She laughed and said not to worry. So, the lights went off and I laid my head down. As I closed my eyes I wondered how many more days I could do this.

Not the best photo of me I’ve ever taken but it’s real! I look and feel exhausted here because I was.

 

I must have drifted off to sleep, but woke just after midnight with some niggling feelings. I laid there trying to stay calm and that’s when it happened. The gush! I knew straight away that my waters had broken. The only way I can describe it is like something inside popped and then I wet myself. Which incidentally I did do about 10 minutes later! I just couldn’t hold it in and peed everywhere while profusely apologising to the midwife who had come in to check on me after I buzzed. She wasn’t convinced my waters had broken. She thought I’d just wet myself, so the actual wetting myself didn’t help back up my story! But on examination, I was fully dilated. This was it. 29weeks and 1 day pregnant and I was having this baby.

When I’d first been admitted we’d been told what could happen in labour, but in that minute when she told me I was fully dilated I suddenly became more scared than I’d ever been. This baby was wanted more than anything, the fact that we’d been through IVF and I’d stabbed myself with needles and pumped myself full of drugs helped prove that, but I wasn’t ready to be a mum yet. I wasn’t ready to have a baby now. I hadn’t been prepared. We had only been to two antenatal classes and the one that dealt with labour wasn’t for another 18 hours! I had no idea what to do to get this baby out.

The pains started to ramp up and were really strong through my back, so I was given gas and air. I began to have a heavy feeling inside. I couldn’t process what I was supposed to do but told the midwives and Doctors, of which had flooded the room, that I felt like I needed to push. They told me to go for it and that’s when I realised I didn’t know what I was pushing. The Dr told me to push as though I was doing a poo. I’d heard that so many times but stupidly I didn’t know that’s actually what you did! I tried, I really tried but nothing seemed to be happening. They made me stop taking the gas and air as it was making me dozy and as I tried to push I was getting more worked up and apologising to them all for not being able to do it! They fetched an ultrasound machine to check on the baby’s placement, because of the size they were worried there may have been some movement. That’s when they saw the problem. Head up and arm above the head. This baby was a wriggler and wasn’t going to make this easy. To try and get some movement, and this is no exaggeration, I had a Dr and Midwife both put their fingers inside my special place to try and move her. I’ve never felt anything like it, but I thought there would be a head coming out of there soon enough so it was preparation. Although that wasn’t to be. They couldn’t shift the arm and by this point the heart beat started dropping. They decided to move me to theatre, ready to give me an epidural and use forceps to pull the baby out quickly.

I realise I’m referring to ‘the baby’ at this point, but we didn’t know that we were having a girl. We had decided to wait and find out once the baby was born. We were calling the bump Freddie as I was convinced we were having a boy! So, Freddie was stuck and I was rushed to theatre. Hubby was sent off to put on scrubs and then would be allowed to join us. But, we hit a snag.

On the way the heart rate continued to drop. The Dr decided that there wasn’t enough time and called for an emergency cesarean. They didn’t have time to wait for an epidural to do its work so decided to give me a general anesthetic. All of this was a blur at the time. I just remember laying on the table, with the anesthetist trying to ask me questions, while I cried out and writhed around in pain. He told me to try and remain calm and the midwife informed him that I was having a contraction. His reply; “oh, sorry about that.” All I wanted was Big holding my hand, who had been amazing through the whole process so far. He wasn’t allowed in so there I was, about to be put to sleep, laying terrified and alone. Would the baby be ok? Would I be ok?

And then I woke up. Two midwives and Big came in to focus. I had an oxygen mask on but couldn’t reach to get it off. Big looked over me and told me with a smile that “Freddie’s a girl!” I was too out of it to cry, but I felt so overwhelmed. Our little girl. He showed me pictures he’d been allowed to take as they were working on her in the incubator. Inserting tubes and wires. He told me with delight how she weighed 2lb 5oz and how beautiful she was, although he’d only got a quick glance. There I lay, post surgery, in too much discomfort to move (though by this time the pain hadn’t hit yet) and all I wanted was to hold my baby girl. To cuddle her and get that first photo that everyone showed off on social media. But I couldn’t. She was on a ward on the other side of the hospital being stabilised by Doctors.

I was told that if I was able to get myself out of bed and in to a wheelchair in the next couple of hours then I’d be able to go down and see her. I’ll be honest, as I lay there waiting, I didn’t feel like a mum. I had no baby to hold yet. I knew she’d been born but it didn’t feel real. I was worried. Worried that I might not bond with her. That I might not love her as I’d been denied that chance of a cuddle at birth. But honestly, I cuddle her now and that love is so strong. It took me a couple of days of seeing her in the incubator and doing cares for her, which are what neonatal staff call changing nappies and doing tube feeds, to feel like she was mine. To remember that she was that little thing that wriggled inside me. I loved her in a way that I can’t explain. I was finally a mum!

Little Big Love

Becky xx